It's good to know but not to learn....!!

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People who have some documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meeting. People who have nothing in their hands look like they’re the canteen. People who have newspaper in hands look like they’re heading for the rest room “WC”. So all above, please make sure that your carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hour that you do.


2. Use computers to look busy all times
Any time you use a computer, it look like “work” the casual observer. You can send and received personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you *will* get caught--your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workplace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile the high the wide. It you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack rummage it when she/he arrives.

4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want you to work for them. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there – it looks you’re hardworking and conscience even though you’re be a devious weasel.


5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.



6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when your boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time late before leaving. Make sure you walk pass the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g: 9: 35 pm or as 7:05 am) or and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that are under extreme pressure.


8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc (thick computer manual are the best).


9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new project. Use the phrases freely when conversation with bosses. Remember they don’t have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.


10. Must have 2 Jackets:
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave spare of jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still in the premises. The second jacket should be worm while swamping around somewhere.


11. Most Important Point:

** Please DON’T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!!!!!!! Be careful ok???